I’m finding it very hard to tell my story to you. I’ve told it many many times in the past- to new friends, old friends, acquaintances, to therapists, to lawyers, to the psychiatrist who assessed my family, to other alienated parents…
I’ve told it concisely, I’ve told it at length and in detail. I’ve told it crying and heartbroken, I’ve told panicking and looking for help. I’ve told it with an accent on the absurd and hilarious aspects and laughed about it.
It was easier to describe the situation when I was not seeing my children at all and was hoping to find a way to have contact with them again. Now that they are living with me but still severely alienated it’s so much more difficult to talk about it. I do not have the emotional distance to see the wider perspective. I am feeling things too acutely and it’s just too sad. I know that I need to include a detailed illustration of how the alienation was achieved – how my ex’s power actually manifested – how his influence and manipulation was so successful, and I will, but not just now.
Home life right now is very taxing because of the hostility and rejection that I face from my kids everyday. I know many parents experience hostility and rejection from teenagers even when there is no deliberate alienation, and I have found some support from books and other resources for dealing with acting-out teenagers. I find that I constantly have to remind myself that my children are not in full possession of their minds, and that it is not their fault and that I must not take it personally or allow it to get under my skin. I have to make deliberate efforts to take good care of myself so that I can cope with it and keep some emotional equilibrium and energy.
Expect a post on taking care of yourself to follow soon!