How it feels to be an alienated child

This is a paraphrasing of what a friend of mine told me about her childhood experience of being alienated from one of her parents. I find it very helpful in understanding the hostility of my own children so that I can have compassion for them and not take it personally:

“Every day I went to school and interacted with the “normal” world outside. It made me feel much the way I’ve heard soldiers describe their homecoming from war zones.  I’d come home and feel this huge disconnect…I had so much to talk about but who would understand? And I was so confused that I couldn’t even form the words in my own head.  There was NO-ONE I could trust to talk about it.”

“I also reacted with a lot of anger to any emotional sea change I felt.  So, for instance, if I found myself liking or feeling sympathetic to the family, friends, and guardians I had been brainwashed to hate, I reacted with terrible anger.  It helped me feel, within myself, like I was back on the “right” side, my father’s side (as all my loyalty was with him, as he had made me feel it must be).  I reacted with anger even if I found myself
liking someone that I alone had decided that I must hate – for instance, teachers and coaches who had failed to “rescue” me from my hopeless situation.  And then I would feel angry about the whole situation – and take my anger out on anyone!”

About Claire Brett-Moran

I am an alienated parent; heartbroken about the damage done, angry and frustrated at the injustice, curious and fascinated by the unfolding mystery, eager to help make things better. In order to protect my children I will not post any details about my identity at this time, but you can contact me if you want to know more.
This entry was posted in Effects on Children, The Psychology of Alienation. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to How it feels to be an alienated child

  1. Paul says:

    Reblogged this on Public Lies.

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